An Open Message to the Virginia Tech Hokies
A tradition since…last year…IHeartBearBryant’s playful jests on opponent message boards are family favorites all around the Sabanic Empire. Fathers sit with their young sons, frantically tapping F5, hoping that they can see what words of wisdom and mirth IHeart will have to dispense to our worthy opponents for the coming weekend. For some reason, though, they tend to draw the ire of those who don’t understand such novel concepts as “sarcasm” and “humor” and “perspective”, so they need a safe harbor where they can be read by the masses. We’re proud to provide that refuge…just like we do for our alcoholic fraternity brothers who are “just a couple of months” in arrears on their child support and “just need some time” for “this thing to blow over.”
Posted By: IHeartBearBryant
8/31/09 2:53:27 PM
Why are you guys so arrogant? You have nothing to be arrogant about. Your only accomplishments are that you have won a few conference championships in the 2 weakest leagues not named the Sun Belt Conference, you have a stupid mascot that might be a turkey or something, and entrance music like a WWE wrestler.
Other than that, what do you have? And don’t say Mike Vick. That’s like bragging that you caught syphilis from Kid Rock. You have nothing, and you are playing the program that has everything. We could give you 5 National Championships and still have more than you. You losers are nothing but the Auburn of the North, and don’t make the mistake of thinking you’re about to play another weak ACC sister. Nope, you are stepping up to where the big boys play, the SEC, and you are knocking on the door of the league’s top dog.
We are arrogant because we have something to be arrogant about. We are tradition. We are the Rose Bowl. We are 12 National Championships and 21 SEC Championships. George Thorogood wrote “Bad To The Bone” after watching an Alabama game. Our All-Americans could fill Lane Stadium. Joe Namath? He played at Alabama. Kenny Stabler? Alabama. Derrick Thomas? Alabama. Don Hutson? Alabama. John Hannah? Alabama. I could go on and on, but I think you now understand what tradition is all about, and it’s not 20 years of being slightly above average built on something called Beamer Ball. When Frank Beamer quits, Virginia Tech will go back to being the podunk program they were before he got there.
And stop bragging about how fast Tyrone Taylor is. He’s as weak as coffeeless coffee. Have you seen our defense? Here’s a clue, most of them were part of the 2008 National Championship recruiting class, and their back-ups are members of the 2009 National Championship recruiting class. Tyrone Taylor better hope he is fast because he is going to spend Saturday night running for his life. We are going to make his ass quit.
Also, the Fighting Gobblers? Is it just me, or does anyone else here find it hilarious that a coach named Bobcock came up with that name?
Enjoy this week. Do as much talking as you can. Talk about how we lost to Utah. Reminisce over beating a horrible Alabama team in a meaningless bowl. Talk of how the NCAA is coming to shut our program down. Get it all out of your system because next week you all are going to be saying that the Alabama Crimson Tide is the best football team in the country, and you will be correct.
HEY HOKIE’S!!
HEY HOKIE’S!!
HEY HOKIE’S!!
WE’RE GONNA BEAT THE HELL OUT OF YOU!!
RAMMER JAMMER, YELLOW HAMMER, GIVE ‘EM HELL ALABAMA!!
